![]() Like he can watch me through the webcam or something. This man is RESPONDING to me as I am on the website, or if I am not interacting with the website. SO, either have to go to my local coffee shop, or go to my local library, and LITERALLY give myself up. DETAILED ASS MAP FOR ME SITTING IN MY FUCKIN HOUSE. Guys, there is a fucking FLASHING MAP of MY STREET with the STREET NAMES AND CONNECTORS ETC. There is a man talking "in code" to me and telling me what I have to do and he gives me a choice. and I click around and eventually I am taken to this website. ![]() although I couldn't really do much here because I was just a zombie staring at everyone and everything. Then one day, I don't know the exact order of events prior to it, I am home alone on the family computer doing something online. Stuff that couldn't possibly happen unless I'm living in the fuckin Truman show or something. I'm talking every single sports tournament I went to that summer I saw people talking about me in the crowds, I heard them saying horrible things about me from the sidelines, I saw them point and laugh at me if I fell. So the added stress of feeling like I was this huge burden on my family just crumpled me down.Įvery joke that was said to me at school I took as one of my LIFELONG childhood friends as being in this grand scheme to get me taken to an orphanage or some shit. I am the middle child and no one in my family is properly equipped to deal with stress. My parents were just like ? wtf ? to this because I was obviously going nuts before their very eyes, but they didn't know what to do with me. I eventually broke down and told my parents that I would give up!!!! Take me away to the authorities mum and dad!!!!! I'm a bad bad girl!!!!!! And I am dead serious I thought I would be locked in isolation for the rest of my life. Oh and the newspaper was talking to me, and the tv, and my school assignments, and the announcements at school. I mean seriously there were days and days on and off where I didn't utter a single word because I thought everyone was talking to me in code and asking me a direct question meant that if I answered I would go to jail. BUT eventually I wear myself down after months and months of this rumination and I stop sleeping and I see people EVERYWHERE who say TO MY FACE that I'm a cry baby, or just plain weird shit that no one would have said to a random fucking 13 year old.Įventually I am full on catatonic. So all that I rationalize as kind of hilarious and absurd. LET ME REITERATE: how in the fuck would my parents know about any of this? and how would anyone else know enough about this to report ME, a 13 YEAR OLD, to the fucking FBI I flashed my boobs on omegle a couple times Me saying a couple mean things to some girls I don't know ANONYMOUSLY online My apparent reasons for being an unwanted child:Ĭhocolate bar shoplifting habit that my parents DON'T know about So I start getting this feeling that my parents either WANT to give me up for adoption, or the fucking FBI are coming to get me (I DON'T EVEN LIVE IN THE USA?) ![]() I also played a ton of sports at that age so when I say I had friends and knew people all across my city (200k population) I MEAN it. I have tons of friends because I was in a special school class (30+ kids) that never changed students throughout elementary. I am in the summer of grade 8, symptomatic for bipolar I for a couple years but no one has connected the dots yet. I am 24 now, type 1, I was diagnosed at 15, diagnosed GAD at 14.įor the story I am about to tell you I was unmedicated and had never even been to my GP for psych issues. Here is the SCARIEST and most persistent hallucination I have ever experienced. It's all: "how's your mood/family/side effects/sex life/exercise regimen?" yada yada yada making sure I'm not going to off myself. ![]() I have never had the chance to describe, in detail, my manic OR my depressive state hallucinations to a psychiatrist. MORE than just perceived danger, I am talking about this thing being part of your MEMORY in perfect recall and it being "reality" for you, even if it is insane.īasically I'm just going to use this post as therapy, read it if you want, or just respond with your own story. TLDR: Tell me about a hallucination you had that was so far-fetched but you cannot shake to this day. Storytime!!!!!! tw: vivid, complex hallucination
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |